A weird&late merry christmas.

Hurray Christmas is over. We're officially done with Christmas this year. Life can go on, things get back to normal let's forget about all that christmas-y mood that I just cannot bring myself to like.

If you like Christmas and celebrate it, I hope you had a nice one.
If like me you don't, I hope it wasn't too bad or that you had a cosy nice and pleasant day doing whatever it is that you enjoy doing.

My Christmas wasn't good, let's just stick to that. It wasn't horrible but definitely not good. A few people managed to make it slightly better, and now that's it's over, I'm feeling free and relieved.

I didn't celebrate it anyway, none of my parents even put up a tree and clearly the Christmas mood was nowhere to be found. The 24th went by quickly and quietly, me being exhausted because of stress and running. And on the 25th, my sister and I decided to go biking, which didn't look at first like a great idea because the weather was terrible, but eventually turned out to be a great iniative.

My hometown is located in the south of France and I live something like 20minutes away from the sea, walking time. I used to be able to see the blue waves from my biology classroom in highschool and I remember my father teaching me how to swim when I was fairly young, then going everysummer with friends to the beach, climbing rocks and little cliffs to then jump into the sea.

Living in Paris is amazing and I don't regret leaving the south of France at all , no, not even a little, but the sea... I always end up missing it. And on this sad Christmas day, being with my sister witnessing the huge waves crushing on the rock, strangely enough put my mind at peace.

I'll be honest, it's not easy nor nice, having a bad Christmas and not being able to enjoy this time of the year with your family, and it's been rough on me this year. I cried a lot, and I'm still feeling a bit under the shock of everything, but little things can make a big difference. Such as this afternoon spent biking and admiring the sea, coming back and forth, never giving up. 

Now, I'm not bitter and I hope that you got to enjoy this Christmas and spend it with people who were happy to celebrate it with you. If not, I hope that whatever you did, it was a good day, just like any other day, because clearly, we're making too much of a big deal out of Christmas. It's just Jesus' birthday after all! 

When time stands still.

Florence

Travelling. This word itself implies a movement. Going from point A to point B. At least. And indeed you do move. You take the plane, the train, a boat, the bus, drive, or sit at the backseat, you bike, you walk, sometimes you run in order to take one of the previously mentionned transport.

But there many times when you don't move at all. Be it by choice or not.

And no guide book will tell you about those moments when time stands still, either because hours seem way too long, or because these are moments of bliss when time doesn't matter anymore.

I actually love those moments of waiting or just enjoying doing nothing at all, a lot. Sometimes I need a bit of time, I need to be back home to be able to enjoy them but I always end up by growing an amused affection for them.

Among the times where I delibaretely chose to stop moving, are a lot of italian places. Piazzale Michelangelo is one of them. Located at the very top of a hill, overlooking Florence, this place by day or night always makes me want to sit and call it a day.

Burano is also one of them. Venice makes everything slow, your feelings, hearbeat, mind and plunges you into a whimsical almost magical mood. Burano just stops time for me. Everytime the boat comes near its shore I feel excited, happy and once I land a foot on the little paved streets I never want to leave.

Fighting the heat in Burano.

A park in Rome.

And Rome... Perhaps because of the unbearable heat, the crowd that one couldn't seem to escape, the perpetual noises everywhere, or perhaps because I was really not enjoying my time there that much, every chance to just sit was welcome.

The view from McDonalds in Omotesando, Tokyo.

Japan was a tiring trip, a very condensed and emotionaly exhausting one and I can name a few times when we just sat and pretended being busy eating when in fact we were just resting. I even remember my friend falling asleep in McDonalds in the middle of the day.

Waiting for the train to take us to Kamakura. Rarely has waiting for a train been that nice. Japan I miss you.

Bratislava

This summer was my first both as a host and a guest on couchsurfing, and I cannot wait for next summer and meet amazing people again! My friend and I were hosted in Bratislava by an amazing, sweet and really cool couple who made our time there just really nice. And I remember this delicious little café, where we talked about religions, politics, arts and travelling without any notion of time. 

In the Gum. Moscow.

If there's one city I've been to that made me feel tired and not wanting to move at all anymore, this has to be Moscow. The places where we hid, trying to convince ourselves it was ok to be doing nothing were many. Starbuks, Dunkin Donuts, The Gum, monasteries, and the Red Square. I won't lie, Moscow is a bit difficult to love, it takes efforts and a bit of sweat. My friends found it hard to wake up every morning, and I had to wake them up, reminding them we would soon be back to Paris. But during the day, the city being what it is, we just needed some peaceful time. And the best was sitting on the ground of the RedSquare at night, looking at the red builings all lit up. At that time only, Moscow was lovely and very easy to love.

My sister in Prague

Is McDonalds a shelter for travellers? With a bit of shame, I'll have to say yes. In Prague we had an amazing time but it was cold and days were very short. The morning we arrived at 4AM, we fell asleep in the commonroom/tvroom of the youthhostel and then proceeded to find somewhere to eat, and warm up before exploring the city. We indulged a bit on food and on time for this breakfast..

A 2day long wait in Lviv that made us look like zombies.

Stockholm.

I never talk about that one destination, but I did go to Sweden, to Stockholm to be precise. And the reason why I never  talk about it is because I simply didn't like it at all. Nor the city, nor the people, nor what we did there, and that implied a lot of waiting in the cold with very little sleep and a lot of stress. I also remember paying an awful lot for vegetarian lasagna in that restaurant, that were not even good. Yes Sweden you aint seeing me again anytime soon!

To be fair I'm not sure where that was exactly. But I am about 80%positive it was in Kiev, waiting for the flight that would take me back to Paris, after my first experience in travelling and many cities and concert venues(remember that time I travelled through Europe following a band?) I don't remember much but I clearly remember how much I stank and how tired I was to waiting that time!

Let me know about your experiences, about the places and times you've spent waiting. And waiting for what?

Eltz Burg.

so tiny

I love churches. cathedrals. basilicas. buddhist temples. shinto temples. mosques.And many other religious buildings. You already know that.

And you could think my love for achitecture ends here. Well... no.

I also love castles. A lot. 

I actually love them to the point of walking 10kms in the forest, in the rain, with very little sleep and an empty stomach, not to forget the very cold temperatures.

But when I look at those pictures of Eltz Burg and the forest it hides in, it's all just worth it. I actually don't remember being that cold, and didn't mind the rain at all. I did almost lose my shoe once or twice because of how muddy it was but I remember more than anything else, how beautiful it was, how peaceful it was, and how happy and serene I felt. 

The castle isn't easy to find. Nor online nor in real life. I don't even know how I ended up reading about it. maybe during these long wikipediasessions about anything&everything. And very surprinsingly, because it is beautiful it wasn't that touristy either. We barely met a few people, all german. 

We had to take the train from Cologne, change at Koblenz to Moselkern and from there, walk to the castle itself. If you don't know german it might seem a bit intidimating, but there are signs along the way to guide you!

This lovely house is the train station in Moselkern.

The beaut"!

The sis.

There are definitely many amazing castles in Germany, but this one is especially impressive, because of its location. It truly feels remote, like you're completely cut from the outside world and it actually feels GOOD. Definitely a place I'd like to see in summer, it must be beautiful as well. Only motivates more to pick up my germanstudies and to travel to Bayern for my birthday next month. 

As usual, thank you for reading&I hope you enjoyed the pictures!I was honestly so excited while taking them, so impatient to share them with you!

Spoken words.

I'm not sure you guys all know this about me but I write. I've always written but I've never really shared anything I wrote with anyone. I'm not even sure it's worth a read. But I love it. I need it. It's natural, and everyday in the most common situations sentences will come to my mind and I need to write them down. I write in french most of the time, obviously, but lately I've been writing in english a little bit. I'm not writing the same kind of texts as I do while using french, but still, I like them. Quite a bit.
What got me really started is spoken poetry, slam poetry, spoken words, whatever you want to call it. I never really got interested in it until a few months ago. But I think I'm in love. I'm in love with so many of the talented and inspiring poets I found online and I'm in love with their words, so different and unique, in love with the emotions and strengh or weakness in their voice as they deliver their poems.
I'm not sure, but I could even want to try it. I'm not sure I could do it anyway. I kind of want to try to do something about these poems I have in store on my YouTube channel. But I'm really shy and I don't know if those words are worth anything. Well words are always worth something.
But because of english not being my first language it adds more anxiety and apprehension to the usual fear any "writer"(oh really) has when it comes to share those pieces of themselves.

Here is one of the poem I wrote, I wrote it today in the subway, on my bed and on my bathroom's floor.

You know this feeling right before the end of summer or winter when you feel like it's impossible that the sun will either disappear or show up? For girls it's like the idea of tights in august doesn't make sense anymore and to think that you once wore a tank top, in mid January looks more like some sort of delirium than a fact. But in the end it always happens again and again and again. Seasons change and tights become the obvious and natural morning choice after looking through the window, and it's so hot at noon that  you almost wish for a day of snow, just one, because even your skin feels like it's an excess layer. Right? No matter how much we forget, doubt or can't imagine it, seasons always change. So when you left I thought it would be just the same. What? A day without you, or rather an infinity of seasons without you? No way it couldn't be. It was as impossible to imagine as the minus 3degree celsius of Paris while being in Greece mid July staring at the neverending blue. But I had to admit it,  I did freeze to death a few months later running to the metro station wondering if blue wasn't a color I had made up. So that would be just the same for you. There would come a day when the memory of you would be as fragile translucent and distant as an hallucination. I'd just have to wait for it. And that's what I did. But clearly my climate must be fucked up because I'm yet to take off the coat of your whispers the scarf of your eyes embroidered with your dimples, the gloves of your midnight secrets the how so soft sweater of your laughter and the cashmere love you once covered me with. They say seasons are late sometimes. I gave your winter a few days, a few weeks, a few months to melt and go away but now I'm counting years. That's not what I call late or a momentary imbalance either. But that's fine! so be it! Let it be rain and wind let it be snow and frost for I know that no sun anyway will be as warm as you. No little dress as comfortable as you. No shade as enjoyable as the cold I feel on this few cms of skin that sleeves don't cover and make the rest of the body realise how safe and protected it is. I choose the bite of your cold to the caress of any warmth, the blue of my nails to the one of any flowers that could bloom and if my lips are chapped it's still better than untouched. I really thought that spring would come. I was picturing this summer day, the sun so bright it was reflecting on every surface, the scent of sand and the sound of waves, the air so warm I could feel it even without any breeze and far away, so far away from me, the vague recollections of what winter was like. Of what life with you was like, and what it meant to me. Like fractions of another life I couldn't reach anymore, something that had been, but how exactly? that I couldn't tell. Truth is I can still smell you and hear the echo of the door you slammed. I can still see you perfectly even in the dark, I can still touch your fingertips on the last objects you held. You're nothing of a ghost other than you keep haunting me.

And here are a few of the videos I particularly loved during my last night session of videowatching!

I hope you enjoy. Both my text and those amazing videos! It would honestly mean a lot to me if you were to read it and let me know what you think, one can only improves this way right?!

Pink hair!

I don't think I've ever blogged about my hair, which is really surprising because God knows I love hair, my hair and I do a ton of things to it!

I've been dying my hair for 9years now, straightening it, curling it, bleaching it too. 

I've made mistakes, I've had to cut it drastically, because of having bleached it too much too quickly... I've had all natural hair colors you can think of, and also dark blue, turquoise, violet, bright red, bright orange and now pink!

I really miss my long hair, and I'm definitely not adventurous at all when it comes to haircuts, but there's not a color I'm afraid to try out!

I was a bit afraid though to try going that light again, because yes ... your hair has to be a light blonde, as blonde as you can get it without damaging it if you want to get a color such as pink, purple or blue, because yellow undertones will definitly show or transform the color. 

And after having ruined, burned my hair to the point I had to cut it above my shoulders when it was down to the middle of my back before, I was a bit anxious as to whether I should bleach it or not.

This time I did it the healthy, safe and patient way. No more of the 5times bleaching my hair the same day. I bleached it once, conditionned it like crazy, waited a week, did the same again, and finally bleached it a third time. I also did a lot of treatments and used purple shampoo in order to get rid as much as possible of the yellow color. And I didn't dye it pink immediatly, but purple. Not too dark, just like the picture above.

It then faded into this lighter lilac color, and I then decided to go more pink. For that I used carnation pink from Directions, mixed with a tiny little bit of Midnight Blue from Manic Panic.

After a few washes, here it is! My hair is healthy, it's not dry at all, at least not for curly hair, and I love having bright hair again! I sometimes miss my brown hair, especially when I want to look a bit more mature and serious but oh well. I have all my life to look more mature right?!

xx

Afterlife.

As much as I love writing about my travels and sharing those experiences with you guys, I felt like I wanted to write about something else. Something possibly personal and I asked you what you'd like me to write about. Apparently you were a few to enjoy my post on God, and asked for more religion/spirituality related posts.
I got asked about afterlife and that's pretty interesting.


Death can be really scary, sad or stressful. Some people also feel at peace with the idea of dying, whether they believe in afterlife or not.
I was for a long time scared of death, scared because I didn't know what to expect from it, what would happen to me or people I loved who would die eventually. It was a very uncomfortable, unpleasant idea to think there would be nothing once we stop living in this world and state. Not only was it a very depressing ideas, but it just didn't feel right, it didin't make sense to me.

On the other hand, the idea of heaven or hell didn't make more sense. I couldn't imagine a God of love who would allow hell, I couldn't find logic in being judged for the eternity on one life only. And how could the strange moments you feel you've lived already, or the people you feel like you've known before or the places that you feel a deep, unusual very unique connection with when you haven't been there before be explained then?

At that time, I was about sixteen, I fell upon the spirits book and discovered Spiritism.
Now, the idea of reincarnation wasn't that new for I was familiar with hinduism&buddhism. But it didn't strike as strongly as it did, when I read the Spirits book. I highly suggest everyone to read that book, whether you come to believe in it or not, it offers a beautiful and loving outlook on life, and drastically changed mine.

So, do I believe in afterlife?
Yes I do. I actually believe we have several lives, we keep coming back on earth or another earth, in another universe, each life being a chance, an opportunity to become better, kinder, wiser, more gentle and compassionate.
Hence the importance of being kind, understanding, respectful of every life and to avoid anger as much as possible.
I believe we go through lives until our soul is pure enough to see the Light and eventually enter "heaven" where God is. A state and a place we cannot describe nor really envision, for it is not something human beings can understand or imagine.

I would totally understand people not believing in that at all, but I do, and this has changed my life so much, making me happy, relived and more than anything, it does make sense to me.
I could be wrong, but I hope and I think this is how things are. And honestly, if all it does is making people happier and more gentle and caring, I don't see any bad in that.

Moscow part 2.

More beautiful pictures of beautiful Moscow with beautiful people&beautiful architecture.

The churches inside the Kremlin are HUGE. They are the most massive and impressive I've ever seen in my life, and I've seen many. Being the fanatic lover of religious building that I am, it was close to Heaven despite the weather, still not willing to participate in making our trip really summerlike.

Not only are they huge, but the details are just breathtaking, along with the pure whiteness of them all, which makes the place even more impressive and somehow austere.

We payed a visit to Novodietvichi monastery, next to which you can access the Novodievitchy cemetery, where are burried just to name a few Tchekhov, Rubinstein, Prokofiev or Khrouchtchev...

And we also visited Tolstoy's house. Unfortunately pictures inside weren't allowed, but it was very moving and humbling to enter the rooms where he&his family lived, to breathe in those rooms that are the witnesses of one of the greatest writter of all time's work&creation.

There are so many things I want to do in Moscow, and even more in Russia, that it would take weeks to be able to do them all. Despite many downsides, issues and a very contestable democracy Russia is a place that somehow caught my heart, and I am so charmed by all it has to offer. Hopefully I can go again, relatively soon, and see a lot more.

Moscow part 1.

Moscow.

The name is a travel in itself. Everyone has an image of Moscow, which most of the time is also the one they have of Russia. I went to Moscow two years ago, when I was 19 by myself, with no experience in solo travel, or even travel before. Chances are by now, if you've been to Russia too, that you're shaking your head thinking "oh dear, why would you do that?".
I was left with a very very bad image of Moscow, a very cold/painful/stressful/harsh feeling that was only half justified.

Because let's be honest, Moscow isn't exactly the dream destination, nor the most relaxed or more young/new traveller's friendly one either. Moscow is difficult.

Now don't get me wrong, I really like Moscow. I've been there twice, even after a very bad experience, and I already want to go again. I like Russia. I like russian people, and I feel, as uncomfortable as I feel comfortable and safe there.
This doesn't make sense, I know.

I can perfectly understand why people would dislike their stay in Moscow, I can perfectly see why. And if you've travelled there yourself, you can probably name a few reasons to dislike the city as well. Right?

It's a rough and busy, cold, huge, noisy city. But it's beautiful, it's intriguing and mysterious. Moscow is a mature lady, a strong and proud man, all in all a magical place that always leaves me yearn for more.