Afterlife.

As much as I love writing about my travels and sharing those experiences with you guys, I felt like I wanted to write about something else. Something possibly personal and I asked you what you'd like me to write about. Apparently you were a few to enjoy my post on God, and asked for more religion/spirituality related posts.
I got asked about afterlife and that's pretty interesting.


Death can be really scary, sad or stressful. Some people also feel at peace with the idea of dying, whether they believe in afterlife or not.
I was for a long time scared of death, scared because I didn't know what to expect from it, what would happen to me or people I loved who would die eventually. It was a very uncomfortable, unpleasant idea to think there would be nothing once we stop living in this world and state. Not only was it a very depressing ideas, but it just didn't feel right, it didin't make sense to me.

On the other hand, the idea of heaven or hell didn't make more sense. I couldn't imagine a God of love who would allow hell, I couldn't find logic in being judged for the eternity on one life only. And how could the strange moments you feel you've lived already, or the people you feel like you've known before or the places that you feel a deep, unusual very unique connection with when you haven't been there before be explained then?

At that time, I was about sixteen, I fell upon the spirits book and discovered Spiritism.
Now, the idea of reincarnation wasn't that new for I was familiar with hinduism&buddhism. But it didn't strike as strongly as it did, when I read the Spirits book. I highly suggest everyone to read that book, whether you come to believe in it or not, it offers a beautiful and loving outlook on life, and drastically changed mine.

So, do I believe in afterlife?
Yes I do. I actually believe we have several lives, we keep coming back on earth or another earth, in another universe, each life being a chance, an opportunity to become better, kinder, wiser, more gentle and compassionate.
Hence the importance of being kind, understanding, respectful of every life and to avoid anger as much as possible.
I believe we go through lives until our soul is pure enough to see the Light and eventually enter "heaven" where God is. A state and a place we cannot describe nor really envision, for it is not something human beings can understand or imagine.

I would totally understand people not believing in that at all, but I do, and this has changed my life so much, making me happy, relived and more than anything, it does make sense to me.
I could be wrong, but I hope and I think this is how things are. And honestly, if all it does is making people happier and more gentle and caring, I don't see any bad in that.

Baby you're a firework.

I haven't blogged in ages! I feel so sorry but I literally had NO inspiration.
No clue what I should write about and to be honest, for two weeks after the end of the second semester I had no clue what to do with myself. I spent many days in bed, doing nothing but drawing and watching movies, unconsciously trying to avoid any thinking or feeling. I guess I was just tired of this school year that has been intense and very stressful, and has brought a lot of changes in my life.
I'm quitting japanese, not definitely, not really, only will I not study it anymore at university. I'm still aiming at becoming a french teacher, but I have to wait until I'm either in my 3rd or 4rth year of university to be able to choose that major. My social anxiety prevented me from going to school therefore I'll have to go for another second year, and my major will eventually be literature.
It feels good and safe to know that I'll be studying something I love, am confident and comfortable with. It feels good to hope for the best and take decisions that may not be very easy but definitely are a step forward.
And that's precisely what I want to write about.

Thanks to my therapist, I've come to realize something which I've always somehow known but never physically or emotionnaly truly understood.
I've always thought that life was about being together, being at least two, a duo, a couple, a trio or more. About being all together, walking together in the same direction, even if all different&unique, in a dynamic that wouldn't leave anyone aside. Because I would have never carried on, kept on moving on knowing one of us was left behind or facing difficulties. I've never had this sense of individualism, this desire to succeed or do things on my own, only for myself.
What I mean by that, first of all, is that I would have never let a friend on her/his own if she/he was feeling down. I would never do that. The group means much more than my own person. If my friends aren't happy I'm not happy. If my friends aren't moving on, aren't following their paths I can't follow mine. I don't mean we should all walk together towards the same point, I mean walking as one, no matter how far away, no matter how different( although depends on how different) our aspirations are. I just feel truly, genuinely concerned with my friends lives. I think that this is sane, and a positive thing.
However I also have a tendency to forget myself too easily, and that isn't good. I clearly had no real interest in building up my own life. I have goals and interests, actually probably more than most people I know, but they aren't the most important things for me. They are tasteless if I'm not working to fulfil, reach those goals&dreams by myself. I'd be much more interested in an "unsuccessful" life surrounded by my friends who would be happy and WITH me, than a successful one, that I'd have created alone. I can't move on by myself. I can't fight for myself. I can't.

But I'm the only one to feel this way and I've come to understand that with such a clarity that it has to result in some drastic changes in my behavior.

These past two years have been a bit hectic for me, but these past 8 months have been very difficult. I'm fine, don't worry but not really could sum it up. My anxiety has grown bigger, my schoolyear has been a failure, I've lost people I loved a lot, I've felt depressed and very lonely. But the hardest of all wasn't the anxiety or the minidepression. Nope.  The hardest was to see that people around me didn't care much.
They didn't stop for a minute their journey, they didn't notice that I was out of the dynamic. They were too busy with their own lives to look at me and admit that I wasn't feeling well. That I was and still am hurting.

I'm not blaming them for it. I just know I would have stopped and stepped out of the dynamic to help this friend out. But you know what? People are definitely all different and you can't expect them to behave like you would. I didn't know that, didn't want to accept that so I kept waiting for someone to come and help me stand up on my feet again. I refused to create my own dynamic, to start moving forward for myself and just waited.

But the truth is, it's very rare that people will get out of their way to help you out. It's very very rare that people will see your happiness as a part of theirs. They will value it sure, but they won't see it as as significant as theirs. And they won't be the one to save you.

No one can do for you what you can't do for yourself. Or maybe that could happen once in a while, but it's way too dangerous to wait for it to happen.
And my therapist made me realize that I need to be able to walk towards my goals, even if this is 'alone'(we're never really alone). Even if that means I'm in my own dynamic, even if that means no one will stand by me forever. Even if I can't share this dynamic with others because they're too absorbed into their own lives.
I can't change completely, and I  don't want to. To speak frankly, I would probably still make my friends' wishes and dreams as important if not more than mines, and I would help them fight to fulfilm them as if I were fighting for my own but not only did I understand it, I also witnessed that they wouldn't.
And that I couldn't wait for moments to live with people only, but that moments for myself even on my own are valuable too.
Because in the end, as sad as it sounds, people around me are creating their lives and I'm not sure anymore there will be a place for me there. And I know for sure, that they won't take some of their time help me create mine.

So what I'd like to keep of all of that is that it's great loving people and caring for them. But it doesn't justify forgetting yourself, because you too, are worth having a bright life, you too are worth taking time for yourself, and sometimes, apparently putting yourself first.

You turn my grey sky into blue.

 Hi guys!

I didn't originally intend to write about this today, nor anyday in particular in fact, but while looking at these pictures I took recently with a very sweet and talented photographer, I realized how well they expressed how I can feel at times. Feeling like I'm not really into this world, not really seen and seeing what's happening around me, trapped by this anxiety, that sometimes seem to be invincible.
Also being naked, feeling completely vulnerable, convinced that people can clearly see what's going on in my head, how terrified I am, no matter how much make up I have on, or how much I pretend to be interested in the book I'm reading. Well also pretending to be reading, for the words don't make sense anymore in those moments, and just mix with one another, adding to this awful sensation that everything's turning into a white whirl.

It's kind of funny how once someone has said those words for you, panic attacks, anxiety it becomes really obvious. Suddenly all sorts of things you used to do, or precisely not do make sense. My behavior, in many circumstances, which I've always thought to be a bit odd, however was normal to me. I had always sort of, been this way, and what you've been used to seeing, doing or feeling all your life, logically seems normal to you. Even if you clearly see that people around you, aren't acting the same way as you.
I guess I was also in denial that something wasn't quite normal. I knew, and everyone knew I was a bit weird&strange, but people and myself as well, just saw that as one more of my weird personality traits. That's it.
I have never been to a party, to a club and very few times even to a bar? Let's blame that on me liking to read best, or just not liking alcohol. I never ever go shopping other than in supermarkets and bookshops? Let's blame that on the internet, that I spend way too much of my time on. It never occured to anyone that the internet maybe wasn't the reason, but the consequence. Not at ease while meeting new people and having to speak in public? Let's say it's because I'm cold and pretty discrete. No one ever thought it was slightly weird that I was probably the least cold person ever once you get to know me. Nausea everymorning before school? That must be because I didn't take any breakfast. Once again, no one thought I didn't take any breakfast because I was feeling anxious. Nor did anyone notice that the only shops I can enter are those that aren't crowded, surrounded by sales assistant who have no idea what personal space means, or which music isn't awfull loud. Just like when I skipped sport or theater classes, everyone just thought I was just lazy, or thinking I was too good to even pay attention to these sub sujects. No one ever took the time to wonder if I just couldn't do it.
Obviously no one did! Emy, having somehow an anxiety disorder? Noway!
She's always the first one to speak her mind, so sure of her ideas and opinions! She makes videos on YouTube, she travels and talks to everyone in the street, she meets strangers abroad, models naked and has blue, violet hair with clothes I'd never wear! How could she possibly be anxious and have panic attacks?!

And for the longest time, I was thinking this way. Just because it didn't seem to make sense. And because until I went to college, it was all minor things. Or more precisely, things I could disguise, and just escape from. Ah escape. Just the right word. I was escaping. All the time.
But once I got to college, I couldn't escape anymore. I had no more the kind teachers that would know me and somehow make things easier for me. I didn't have these good old friends that were always there for me. I didn't have anyone to answer for me. Nor could I just wait for my parents to do things for me.
I had to go to class, with strangers, unknown and distant teachers, new school ... I had to speak in front of everyone else, I had to do group works with everyone else. All the things I could escape from before, because people knew I didn't like it. But the truth isn't that I don't like it. I now hate it, and just can't do it most of the time.

And it started becoming worse. I had such a bad image of myself, I was feeling completely worthless and stupid. I was faking smiles, and then wondering if I was really turning crazy. The smallest and most normal stuff, were suddenly turning into insurmountable tasks. Going to the doctor? All alone, having to call for an appointment, having to wait in a small room full of people I didn't know, having to be sure of the day, the hour ... impossible. Calling anyone I didn't know basically was a pain. Waiting in the line at the store? I was suddenly hit by terrible doubts. Had I enough money? Had I even brought my wallet with me? Oh and are they taking credit cards? What should I do if they don't take credit cards?! Ok, better be safe, let's pretend I forgot something and come back later. Should I really go to this photoshoot? I don't know them yet. Maybe they'll think I'm ugly? They may not even recognize me, and be so disappointed. I gained so much fat anyway. Why did I say yes? I knew it would turn out like that. Ok let's pretend I am sick. I really want to go running. But I'm all alone. People will think I'm a looser because I run too slow. And I will run only 20minutes, it's really nothing. Everyone will see how much I'm in pain, it's ridiculous, I really shouldn't go. Why are they looking at me? Are they laughing at me?
It wouldn't always be like that. But very often it would. Being with someone would greatly help. In some circumstances, I was even the one looking the most relaxed.
But it all really became bad with school. That's when I had my first panic attacks. I had no idea what was happening to me, and thought I was going to faint because I didn't eat or something of that sort. Sweating like crazying, body becoming so hot and the minute after so cold, my hands were like ice. My heart was beating so fast, I was feeling so nauseous and couldn't swallow well. Started shaking and not hearing nor seeing well... I just couldn't go to class anymore. And I still can't really.

*

It took me over a year to finally ask for help. To finally admit that maybe something was wrong.
If I'm writing this post, it's more to point out the obvious than tell you how it feels to suffer from anxiety.
Not asking for help when you need it is stupid.
I don't think I'm the only one who's like that. I keep waiting and waiting, just refusing to see many things, because I don't want to take care of it, I don't want to express how upset or sad I am. I was afraid people wouldn't believe me, because I was convinced I didn't make sense at all. But it's bullshit. It really is.

There are really sweet and actually competent people out there, who are willing to help you out. If you were willing to build up a piece of furniture, would you on purpose try to do it without the needed tools?

There are times in life, when in order to build up this future life of yours, you need some tools, some advice, some plan, some people to guide you. 

It obviously doesn't change everything. I still don't go to classes. But since I started seeing a psychologist, I feel more at ease because I know first, that I'm not turning crazy, and that I do have indeed, something that many people have, and that has a name. I don't panic much anymore in the subway, or in the street, almost not at all anymore! I can call & answer the phone normally, I can talk in the few classes I go to, I don't have this fear of going out which I used to have some days, that would make me stay inside all day long. I started running, even if it's not really successfull yet.
And even besides that, so many things have changed. I have a certificate now, that the school administration is aware of, and I'm no longer a bad student skipping class, but a student that sometimes can't go to class. The psychologist listens to me, and is sweet, the receptionist calls me by my name and is always very very kind.
There are some downs though. It's not really easy to go and talk for 30minutes with a stranger, giving everything you hold inside of you and accepting to show your crying face when you never cry in front of people. It's not nice to hear your doctor say " I suggest you see a psychiatrist as well, and take medicine", it's not nice to have your family being a bit more cautious with you, or the people you know taking it too lightly.

But it's all worth it, and I can now have hope that I will really battle this anxiety, and get free of it.
I hope that if you took time to read this super long post, and if you're struggling with anything, small or big, but was reluctant to get any help, by now, you've changed your mind.
I'm always telling people how time flies by, and how we shouldn't waste any minute of our lives. But by not asking for help, that's what I was doing all this time.
And you are very precious, your life is very precious, so don't waste it because you're afraid of what people will think, you're afraid they might not believe you, you're scared of the unknown or ashamed, or think help is for weak people.

Real strengh is being able to make choices that aren't easy.

Thank you for reading this post guys, it was super long and not the most joyful ever, but I don't want you to think it was sad either! It's actually not! It's full of determination and acceptance! After all, no one said life would be always easy! I'm taking the challenge, it's fine!
Btw, don't hesitate to tell me what you'd like to see next, and read about!

Once upon another time.

These pictures were taken by the lovely Nichelle Singer.

Hi guys!

This post is a tiny bit different from my last entries, I hope you won't mind!

When I first arrived in Paris, I did a lot of photoshoots, and met some really really nice people. But for some reason, lately I haven't been feeling confident enough to keep doing it, or maybe I just didn't feel like doing it anymore. Most of the models will tell you they do it for fun, and I probably said it too once or twice, but to be completely honest, it's kind of rare I find it "fun". I actually like meeting photographers, they are usually really nice and interesting, and I've actually become friends with some of them, which is really cool. 

However I find photoshoots to be tiring and really stressfull. The fact that I haven't done any lately is a sign, to me, that my anxiety has grown bigger, and that's not good. Therefore, I think I'm going to try to do it more  often, and hopefully I'll start to enjoy it again. 

It's really frustrating and upsetting to feel a strengh in you that is preventing you from doing things, or enjoying them to the fullest. It really makes me feel depressed sometimes, but to eradicate this I have to fight it.

That's why I'll try to model a bit more often from now on.

I really like these pictures, they are really soft and clean. I have actually very few black&white pictures with minimal make up, so I'm pretty happy with how they came up. The photographer is a lovely student from Canada, you can see her work here and here.

Make sure to check her out ! :)

~Follow me on Twitter or Facebook~

365.²

I apologize for the lack of update, but I was busy, went on a trip and I was hoping and planning to tell you about this trip, but unfortunately I don't have the pictures yet, so...
Here are more of my 365 little thoughts.
I hope you enjoy, and let me know what's on your mind as well guys:)
Just as a little tease ;), here are also some instagram pictures of Berlin, which was my destination the last week end.
Loveyouguys.

8.01.2013

Future is one of the scariest thing ever, if not the scariest thing. It's far away and yet, every breath you take shapes it.

10.01.2013

Today was day to say bye to our christmas tree. It was our first own christmas tree, my first one as a livingaloneperson, well alone including my sister, but you get the idea. While taking down the tree ornaments I realized I had now a 'CHRISTMAS' box. As ridiculous as it may seem I felt so moved and tears came to my eyes. I surely looked ridiculous standing like a fool with a red tinsel in my hands. For some reason this box full or ornaments and memories made me realize how much I feel at home here in Paris, in this little flat. Today was a bad day but this simple realization warmed my heart up. I was feeling pretty rubbish and lame, let's say it, completely shitty, and I got surprised to see my own smile in the reflection of the window. That may be utterly insignificant but there's something I'm so happy about. That I managed to recreate a cosy place, where everyone feels at home. A little house that is somehow alive.

11.01.2013

There's nothing worse than doubting when it involves someone else's life and happiness. I don't like responsabilities, I am not good with duties, choices and consequences. I hate the word consequences, btw.

13.01.2013

Sometimes, at night, I think of you and what could have happened if few things had been different. Sometimes when I wake up, I wonder what it would have been like to wake up to your face, or to know that today wouldn't be a day without you. I always wonder why you're not here.

17.01.2013

Working on making the small things the biggest ones. That's one of my daily tasks. I think I'll find true happiness the day it becomes natural.

1.02.2013

I decided this year I wouldn’t hurt myself, nor blame me for things that aren’t worth the pain. So I’m not going to apologize nor feel upset about the days I haven’t written about.  Let’s  say I’m trying to get better slowly but surely. Today the sky is gray, I sure haven’t lost a pound and I’m not feeling any prettier or more loved. I don’t feel more intelligent nor do I have any reason to feel utterly optimistic, but I however do. Where there is a will there’s a way . I have wanted to get this tattooed for more than a year, and I’m starting to think this may be the right time to get it. I’m focusing on myself, I’m giving myself some time. Because, more than anything, and even more than you, this is probably what I need the most right now.

2.02.2013

I often wonder if many people are lucky enough to see the world as I see it. On my way to my friend’s place, on the bus ride, I was looking through the window, my eyes wandering in the animated Saturday afternoon streets. The sun was warm and the man next to me was laughing about something I’ll never know on his phone, with someone I’ll never meet either. Probably. And this very moment was so beautiful and good. I could see the love and the importance of every single person I secretely encountered, without them even noticing it, during this ride. I could feel them, as clearly as I was feeling the sun on my face, even through the plastic glass. 

Being a traveller even at home.

Sometimes, I want to travel so much that I forget I live in Paris. Brenna, an amazing blogger( and most likely an amazing person), blogged about it recently, or kind of. She wrote about the posttravel blues. You know, how you get all down&depressed when you're back home after a trip, be it long or short, far away or few miles from home. 

I guess this has happened to everyone, and though I love my home, Paris&France on a more general note, there has only been once, I didn't feel this way. 

When travelling I feel so happy, free and clean. Light and new, always challenging myself without realizing it, discovering new things, enjoying even more the little pleasures of life. People are nice, and more friendly to foreigners usually( I don't exactly know why though); and even if sometimes I miss my bed, my bathroom, or France, the moment I land or cross the french border, on my way back home, I immediately want to go back.

The worse has to be the subway. The subway in Paris is dirty, crowded, people are so busy, running somewhere and I must say this isn't the most enjoyable place on earth. Well at least not when you're back from a trip. 

The longer the trip, the harder it seems to go back to normal/everyday life. And the more you see on your trip, the more amazed you get, the more nostalgic you feel back home.

When I went back from my trip through Europe in 2010, after having been to England, Germany, Hungary, Sweden and Russia, visiting London, Bath, Cheddar, Berlin, Leipzig, Budapest, Stockholm&Moscow, attending concerts every two days, I felt so so so very down to be back in Paris.

First feeling however was relief, because of how scared I was all alone in Moscow. But as soon as I understood I was back in France and completely safe, my heart started aching so bad.

The same happened after my trip to Japan( it was the worst without any doubt), but also my trip to Italy and Prague.

I dwell into memories, spend hours looking through pictures, watching videos again&again, read what I wrote during the trips, and because I keep EVERYTHING, I have tons of tickets, papers, flyers,pictures,stones,coins... to organize. I talk about the trip I've been on to everyone, and I guess I'm being quite annoying. 

And I sometimes forget how much I love Paris, and how beautiful this city is. Well I'm completely in love with Paris, I never get tired of walking in the little streets, I always look up for there's always something to see, to discover, there's always a store to enter, a restaurant to try, a church to be amazed by, a museum to explore, or a parc to get lost in. Paris is definitely an amazingly beautiful and breath taking city. 

Last week it snowed quite a lot, and I decided to take my sister out for a walk. We went to some of my favourite places, and I realized once more, how lucky I am to live here.

Well the same day at night, once back home I couldn't help but become all nostalgic of Japan again, but still I felt very happy where I was. 

hotshower after a long walk in the snow is the best!

hot chocolate&biscuits are quite nice too!

365.

I'm starting this new little thing to motivate myself, keep a trace of the days and just to force myself to write, as often as I can. I'd love to be able to write in english just like I do in french, but that is really unlikely to happen unless I start reading a lot in english. And by reading I mean poetry and novels. Which I'm not really doing. Anyway it's not literature, but I hope you'll enjoy and feel free to let me know if you relate to any of this or not. I'll probably post these like once a week, in order to keep a track and not let this take over the blog.
Loveloveguys.

4.01.2013
I've been waiting for it for years. I've been wanting and fantasizing about these little things every time I'd hear the clock or anyone tell me " it's time!". Cooking at 4am. Not just boiling some water and throwing pastas in there, no; actually cooking. Onions, tomatoes, garlic, pasta and basilic, the whole Italy in the kitchen when everyone else is sleeping. A bath at 3, when everything is silent, the bathtub becoming as impressive as a waterfall. No one to tell me it's time to go to bed, to eat, to get ready, to do this or give up on that. Time like I feel it, want it and rearranging small things in my life, the way it's working for me. I've always thought this was one of the essential points for me to become happy and peaceful. I've always been tired of making sense, of restraining myself from living by my desires for the things I could easily allow to be conducted by nothing logical or sensible. A dinner entirely in the dark, sushis for breakfast, eating icecreams during winter and hot stew during summer, sleeping with windows open when it's raining, setting up a castle in the living room eventhough my bed is so cosy, or a chritmas tree in September, going to bed with my favourite books around me to feel less lonely, collecting teddy bears when I'm 20, or covering all of my walls with receipts, maps, pictures, postcards and flyers, having Halloween on Christmas and changing the date of my birthday every year ... As a child I was longing with  excitment and sparkling eyes for the time I could do all these. It was almost impossible for me to imagine more exciting and thrilling than that, than this complete freedom, without anything planned or meant to happen at this very moment.

5.01.2013
5th day of 2013 and I still can't really realize it's a new year. Every new year's eve I start feeling anxious, sad, awfully sad to leave a year behind. It feels like definitely leaving a very good friend, without any proper chance to say goodbye. I keep thinking " please, just one more week, one week to set up a dinner with everyone, or a last trip together or maybe just remembering happy times around a cup of tea, before saying goodbye". I also want to take some time to clean the room, get the house ready for the new year. You know, just make sure bed is comfy, livingroom cosy and that the fridge isn't empty. But the years always leave too quickly, and the one knocks on the door when I'm about to get rid of the mess of the farewell party we just had. I always jump into the new year somehow late, unprepared, a bit lost and scared to face this blank book that is yet to be filled with experiences, lessons to learn, people to meet, places to discover, feelings to treasure, memories to create. But then I look back at the past year, I see the first of January, all the way back, at the very begining of the year, at the very start of the road I've taken. And eventhough my heart is still beating a bit faster, my hands shaking and having a lump in my throat, it's not only because of fear. It's also of excitment to welcome a new yeaar, a new friend in my life.

7.01.2013
One of the things I dislike the most about myself, among the how so many bad points I have, is that I seem to never learn from my mistakes. I never ever learn from my past. If I learn something, or change my way to think or behave, it is simply because I suddenly feel like it is obviously what I need to do or to be. For some unknown reason a part of my inner machinery suddenly takes a new rythm, and this change in my personality becomes immediatly natural. I am simply not a person that knows how to go from point A to B taking time and efforts, method and experiences. I wake up one day, and I look around, surprised to realize things have changed. Process. That is a word that doesn't make sense to me. I wish it did though. Because I'm also incredibly stubborn and lazy. Therefore, no matter how many times I fail, fall or get hurt, unless this unexpected magic happens, I'll keep doing the same thing over and over again. If I'm writing about this today, it's because I've just failed my written exams. I can't completely blame myself for that, because I did study for them. I did study the two weeks before the deadline. But I just didn't do during 4months. Which is probably one of the most stupid things to do, because it's tiring, really unpleasant, difficult and very rarely gives good results. Therefore, I think I want to try learning of my mistakes, I think I want to change. Little by little. With work and self discipline. Slowly but surely. And that does not only apply to school, if I really need to mention that.

Perhaps the reason memories of youth are always in watercolor, is because it ends before it can be put in more vivid colors.

I'm a bit lazy lazy to write a proper entry so I thought I'd show you pictures of the past month. :)

I hope you enjoy guys~

My lovely friend Momoko sent me this beautiful book. I'll need a dictionary for sure but I love it.

Banana mufins, no sugar used!

I keep trying and trying but I can't stop buying books and unecessary stuff.. And also I can't help being messy.

I've decided to start cooking things I've never cooked before! And my sister loves fall! So here you go. I made some mashed Jerusalem arichoke( what kind of name is that?) and it was delicious!

Can't really believe it, but yes. I'm going to exercise.  Hopefully.

Japanese meal ! 

Ajouter une légende

70's fever!

For those who didn't know, I'm almost blind!

Lovelove

Halloween celebration! :)