samedi 10 janvier 2015

Back in the south.

Happy New Year everyone!
I hope you started this year well, and are doing amazing.
I, on the other hand, have been very affected by the recent traumatic events that happened in Paris and cannot really picture 2015 as a positive year to be for the moment. I have been extremely shocked and feel deeply sad, added to the exhaustion caused by exams, the absolute shitty weather that we have and my birthday coming... I'm not in the greatest moods.
There's so much I'd like to say about the recent terrorist attacks in Paris, about the politcs, about my beautiful country and about the fears I have, but also the hope and faith I feel, but I don't feel like I can share all of that online for now, and I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to do it.

So this post will try to be as light and joyful as possible. I'll try!
Most of you will know that I spent this Christmas season in my hometown city, in the south of France. Some of you will know, that I usually dislike Christmas and the New Year, and that I want nothing but for this time of the year to be over and go back to my beloved Paris. If I missed Paris this time as well, I felt something different while sitting on the train and watching the scenery passing by. At first I thought I was tired, or hungry, or thirsty or maybe all three at the same time. But even after drinking half of the bottle I had with me, I realised my stomach wasn't in cause. It was higher. In my chest. A twinge. I was sad to leave. I was so used to protect myself from any sort of negativity that I had not authorized myself to notice it, but I had actually spent some rather good times there. With friends and family, at the beach or cooking with my dad, walking the dog with my mom... For the first time in years I wasn't relieved to go back to Paris. I was happy, sure, I was happy to meet my love again, but I was already missing people. I didn't feel like fleeing from them that time.
I got up and headed towards the platform between two wagons, where my friend was waiting for me. He was also going back to Paris, same train but different wagons.
-Did you find your seat?
-Yes, no problem. What a gloomy sky...
He looked through the window. The sun that would greet us most days in our hometown had already disappeared. He nodded and added :
- I kind of wish I had stayed longer.
And I found myself replying that I had wished the same too.