dimanche 17 février 2013

Memories of Japan.

It's not a secret for anyone, I love Japan. My trip to Japan was the fulfilment of a very old dream, and a pure moment of happiness. Not only do I love Japan, but I love Tokyo. And that is a bit surprising.
I'm not the kind that likes big cities. I love Paris and Berlin, sure, but there are european "big" cities. Which means you somehow, always find places to feel at peace, little neighbourhoods that remind you of villages, and there's no real skyscrapers or scenery like you could find in Tokyo, New York or Shanghaï for example. Let's take New York . Everyone's going crazy about the city, but I have no desire at all to go there. I just don't like it, it's not even interesting to me. But Tokyo. Ah, I loved Tokyo.

I couldn't really explain why, but I found everything so pretty in Tokyo. Even the very unaesthetic things, like the electric lines or the railway lines were beautiful to me. I could see a beautiful picture everywhere I landed my eyes. I even came to like the lights, the giant buildings, the overwhelming amount of people, the malls and the big long roads.
If it were just about how beautiful and cinematic the city is, it wouldn't feel true, authentic enough to me. But Tokyo also has this very deep, spiritual, cultural vibe to it. Despite the city being very modern, it's really easy to find places, buildings, stores, gardens ... that remind you of the ancient Japan.
The city is clean, convenient, big but not cold, clear&light but not empty...

I really miss it. I wanted to come back to Japan this April, but I won't be able to do so, I have way too much work to be done, and exams are just around the corner. However, I'm really hoping to discover the city this autumn. It must be so diferent, from the spring Tokyo that I met last year.

Is there a place that you really miss ? Or would go back to in an heartbeat?

lundi 11 février 2013

So, tell me about yourself.

Hi everyone!

I still haven't had a chance to get my hands on the pictures of Berlin, so sorry this post won't be about traveling. Well it's not really going to be about myself either, but it still makes echo to this video, so I thought I'd include it on here. :) Feel free to watch it and leave a video response btw, I'd love to learn about you ;)

Oh and btw, I created a facebook page for my channel&blog, to interact with you more. I won't accept anyone anymore on facebook, so feel free to like this page so that we can talk&have even more fun !
*click here*

I've already stated that in videos, or maybe even on my blog, but I have no issue at all with sharing my personal life, and telling people about my feelings, emotions and thoughts. This video reminded me of that. Lately a special friend of mine has asked me if I had any secrets. No matter how much I thought about it, I just couldn't really find any secret. I simply have nothing to hide or nothing I can't talk about. Obviously there are things I'm not the most comfortable talking about, or things that aren't so good memories and make me sad or cry. But there's nothing I can't talk about, and that is simply because I love people, and thus don't see why I should keep anything away from them. I remembered a post I had written a while ago, for a friend of mine Amber. It was supposed to be featured on her blog, but never was so I thought I could instead, just share it with you now. :)

We all have something that hurts, something that we most of the time, try our best to hide , thinking hiding can equal erasing. We spend so much of our time, of our energy to hide, put aside this something, may it be big or not. easy to analyse or not, clear or confusing. We sometimes can't even put words on it, for we have always tried to look away. That is what most people do, that is what, I think, 90% of people do. 
Some may build up their lifes on it, either trying to exorcise it by running away, or just not being able to go over it. Anyway, the moment you realize it still hurts, it hurt in the past and is likely to always do, eventually always comes. Maybe it's always going to hurt, no lies. As strange as it may sound, this kind of injury builds up as well as destroys someone. 
We ALL have something that hurts, I am sure of that. No matter how beautiful, smart, rich, happy, clever, funny or successfull people may seem, they all went through those lonely, long and sleepless nights. Or this sudden moment, when without any real reasons, your heart comes right along your lips, and it feels like the world is just a big black hole. This small matter, these little memories that hurt deep inside. We all know about them, yet we all pretend we don't. It seems that telling, confessing, admitting about those is forbidden, people fear revealing them more than anything else. Putting a name on this something is like opening one of the most private part of yourself to others, giving your most fragile aspect to the eyes of anyone. 
Yet what is the matter? What is wrong with that? Why should there be a distance between us and others? Why are we always told to keep some things for ourselves? What is it going to bring us? The world would be a so much better place, if everyone could tell what hurts them. What is painful to them. Tell their stories, their fears and doubts. If we could all share and all comfort one another. 
Wouldn't it be wonderful, if we could open ourselves to others without any fear, or apprehension? Anxiety wouldn't exist anymore, if we all took time to love. If we all really believed in one another and gave everyone a chance. When someone is mean to me, I don't want to fight back. I want to show him or her what hurts me, the darkness in my dreams, the reason why I cry at night and the color of my sky when I feel down. I want to show this person we are all the same. We all are insecure sometimes. We all are children who suffered from something, we all are teenagers ashamed of a part of us. And we all are adults with doubts and regrets. What is so wrong with opening yourself truly, completely to others?
 I want to believe this person wouldn't be mean anymore to me, I want to believe she/he'd see herself/himself in me, and would understand that all we need is love and sympathy. That might be so cheesy or naive, but once again, I think some truths are cheesy and clichés; it just takes some courage to face them. Sometimes intelligence has to come from the heart, and not from the brain. Loving people is a source of joy with no common. 

Loving others is the only way to happinness.


samedi 2 février 2013


I apologize for the lack of update, but I was busy, went on a trip and I was hoping and planning to tell you about this trip, but unfortunately I don't have the pictures yet, so...
Here are more of my 365 little thoughts.
I hope you enjoy, and let me know what's on your mind as well guys:)
Just as a little tease ;), here are also some instagram pictures of Berlin, which was my destination the last week end.

Future is one of the scariest thing ever, if not the scariest thing. It's far away and yet, every breath you take shapes it.

Today was day to say bye to our christmas tree. It was our first own christmas tree, my first one as a livingaloneperson, well alone including my sister, but you get the idea. While taking down the tree ornaments I realized I had now a 'CHRISTMAS' box. As ridiculous as it may seem I felt so moved and tears came to my eyes. I surely looked ridiculous standing like a fool with a red tinsel in my hands. For some reason this box full or ornaments and memories made me realize how much I feel at home here in Paris, in this little flat. Today was a bad day but this simple realization warmed my heart up. I was feeling pretty rubbish and lame, let's say it, completely shitty, and I got surprised to see my own smile in the reflection of the window. That may be utterly insignificant but there's something I'm so happy about. That I managed to recreate a cosy place, where everyone feels at home. A little house that is somehow alive.

There's nothing worse than doubting when it involves someone else's life and happiness. I don't like responsabilities, I am not good with duties, choices and consequences. I hate the word consequences, btw.

Sometimes, at night, I think of you and what could have happened if few things had been different. Sometimes when I wake up, I wonder what it would have been like to wake up to your face, or to know that today wouldn't be a day without you. I always wonder why you're not here.

Working on making the small things the biggest ones. That's one of my daily tasks. I think I'll find true happiness the day it becomes natural.

I decided this year I wouldn’t hurt myself, nor blame me for things that aren’t worth the pain. So I’m not going to apologize nor feel upset about the days I haven’t written about.  Let’s  say I’m trying to get better slowly but surely. Today the sky is gray, I sure haven’t lost a pound and I’m not feeling any prettier or more loved. I don’t feel more intelligent nor do I have any reason to feel utterly optimistic, but I however do. Where there is a will there’s a way . I have wanted to get this tattooed for more than a year, and I’m starting to think this may be the right time to get it. I’m focusing on myself, I’m giving myself some time. Because, more than anything, and even more than you, this is probably what I need the most right now.

I often wonder if many people are lucky enough to see the world as I see it. On my way to my friend’s place, on the bus ride, I was looking through the window, my eyes wandering in the animated Saturday afternoon streets. The sun was warm and the man next to me was laughing about something I’ll never know on his phone, with someone I’ll never meet either. Probably. And this very moment was so beautiful and good. I could see the love and the importance of every single person I secretely encountered, without them even noticing it, during this ride. I could feel them, as clearly as I was feeling the sun on my face, even through the plastic glass.