samedi 29 décembre 2012

"A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering."

I'm taking a break once more, from my how so tiring and alienating studies to write a bit on here. I wanted to write about traveling at first, but my last post was already about travels, so I thought diversity would be interesting, and seeing that I got quite a good feedback on my post about God&Happiness, here I am with a new happinesstip post!

Actually I've been thinking a lot lately, about how in life you must learn to live with pains, some of them that never leave you. They are a part of you, a part of your body,mind and heart. Hidden deep somewhere between some bones, most of the time quietly sleeping, but sometimes, and that's when troubles appear, they wake up and knock on the door.

We all have some, and I'm pretty sure right now, reading this, everyone of us is thinking of something specific. We know these pains because in life, there are things we simply can't change. There are things we long for, desire, want so much and are dreaming of, but for some reason, that we might not always know or see, they aren't meant to happen to us. That's when we get sad, upset, depressed sometimes really unhappy. We've all been there. Loving that one guy that doesn't care, thinking of that one girl that has already a boyfriend, regretting some words we had, some friendship that broke, missing someone who has gone too early, realizing we should have done that this way or not done this at all in order to keep this relationship healthy and alive. We all have scars. We all wish some things were different, we wish we could back in time, or have another chance to change this, we beg and hope " I'm sure this is going to be different this time, let me try once more please!".

And when we realize, after what can be a long time, that no. It's definitely not going to happen, this person won't be a part of your life, at least not like you'd like him/her to be, or that this can't be changed, that this isn't your path... , well most of the time we get mad, depressed, thinking it's so unfair, unbearable and we just simply let sadness and anger win over ourselves.
From that, nothing but pain and unhappiness can come out. It's not going to change what make you feel that down, and it's not going to bring you anything positive either.

So why we would want to stick to that? Why would we agree to shelther these feelings in ourselves?
Don't get me wrong, I know this is hard, I know sometimes it seems that life is meaningless or tasteless, or too hard. Pain may be so strong we feel like we can't handle it. I know, I am not trying to say you should suddenly wake up and feel so detached from everything. That would be terrible anyway.

But we can work on learning how to accept to let go. Of our hopes, dreams, desires, fantasies.
Because that's the only way we can get free of the past, of regrets and the only way we can find happiness.
We are often so convinced we know what's good for us, what we need to be happy or what we really want. We think we deserve this or that, and consider that things should be just like we want them to, like we imagine them in our minds. But we are so small, so ignorant of many things, blinded so easily and we mistake our "I want" with our " I need".
Buddha says, that pain comes from desire.
To let go is to understand that we came on earth with nothing. We came naked, defenceless, without words and life doesn't owe us anything. We are the ones to owe life, something.
Life is beautiful, amazing and we should be grateful to be alive, but life isn't that serious either. I truly believe that 99%of what we go through isn't worth all the unhappiness we inflict ourselves. Everything we live, everyone we meet ... is a bonus. An extra, given to us, nothing more.
We go through life, as life goes through us, like water. Sometimes we can leave a sign on people, on society, we can be important, and things or people can shape us, change us, but nothing is meant to be forever. If it does, great. If it doesn't, that is fine.

Missing someone or something is fine. It's normal, it's natural. It won't kill you. Eventually, thanks to time, wounds heal. They leave scars, that's true. And when it rains, scars tend to hurt a bit. That's also fine. It's important to accept that it's going to hurt, it's going to take time, you're not invincible. But you're still strong, you can still enjoy life, you can still laugh and you're alive, after all!
Life can be anything, happiness is everywhere, already in you, and love is in everything. There's nothing, that is essential, indispensable for you to be happy, but the will to be.

dimanche 23 décembre 2012

Just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die.

Today was a tiring day. Filmed a video, edited it a bit, studied, did the dishes&the laundy. Now is my little breaktime, and I realized it had been quite a long time since I last wrote a little something on here. So that's what I'm going to do while listening to this
I don't have any new pictures, for it is winter(and you know I only feel like sleeping during that season) and also because I'm mainly studying everyday, so no time to go out or travel or anything of that sort.

And I remembered I had told you I would upload more pictures of Prague, so here we go :)
These are the ones I took with my phone. You can see some of them on my instagram ( antastesia ) but many I haven't uploaded yet.

For some reason since I came back from Prague, everything makes me think about it again, and I see the city everywhere. Tv, internet, blogs... I also really wonder what the city is like during spring or summer, so... probably will I try to go back during summer. I'd love to discover more of the country as well, not only Prague. I have an amazing planned trip for summer that I couldn't do this past summer, so I hope this time I'll be able to do it. It's quite a long trip, following the Danube river from its very start to its very end, and hopefully also including Russia( if money and time allow it).
Am I the only one already busy planning summer vacations or are you guys doing the same? :)


jeudi 13 décembre 2012

On being a girl.

Today I thought I would do a post about girls. Or more about what it is like being a girl. To me, of course, as I don't hold any universal truth. I can't cover what it is like being a girl completely obviously, but there are few things I've been thinking of lately, and my sister keeps telling me I'm a frustrated feminist( which I disagree with), and I thought it'd be interesting to know what are your thoughts on it guys :)

First of all, I love men. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against males in general, I get on well with them if not better than with girls, I think they also have to cope with many unpleasant and troublesome things in life, BUT let's be honest, not as much as we, women, do.

As a girl( I'm still not comfortable with calling myself a woman, peterpan's syndrome you say?), I feel like I'm  going through abnormal things everyday. By that I mean things that shouldn't be accepted or seen as common, when it has sadly become the case.
The more our society becomes violent and unrespectful towards everyone, and therefore women, the more we push the limits of what is considered rude, violent or innapropriate.
When a guy goes out, what happens ? Pretty much nothing unusual.
When a girl does, however, it's a complete different story. Once again that can differ depending on where you live, but usually she'll be stared at, chatted up, maybe followed or even touched.
From the you're charming, you look ravishing, hey you're good loocking, to the famous what's your number? what's your name, where do you live, how old are you, and the can i take you back home? interested in having a little something with me? ... the possibilities are, halas, almost infinite.
You learn quickly that wearing lipstick will cause insiting looks in best cases, that skirts and heels are apparently like walking naked for some men, and that smiling to a stranger is an invitation to sex.
Words are fine, or are they really? They aren't fine if you think about it, it is not fine to have to deal with that when you did nothing to deserve it, or cause it. Words don't physically hurt, but they are tiring, they are harmful and you actually never know if this guy, this fishy disgusting idiot is only going to talk to you.
There was a time words like these were just out of question, and there are still countries in which that kind of behavior is probably surprising and uncredible. But it has now become normal, ok... Girls themselves, myself first sometimes, say it : " it's just words, no big deal!"
But the line of what is acceptable keep going further and further, and then what?
Touching your shoulder, kissing your hand or cheeks, touching your butt or just leaning onto you in the subway? Will that be fine one day?
Probably like most of girls living in big cities in the western world, I've encountered situations in which I felt annoyed, embarassed or scared. I've had boys putting their hands underneath my skirt, touching my arms or even waist, being rude to me once i asked them to leave me alone. I've heard pretty obscene words and sometimes I've felt really scared.
The only reason to that is my gender. I don't think boys can understand how infuriating it is to feel that weak and defenceless when you're confronted to someone that clearly lacks respect, intelligence and you just wish you could make them feel the way you feel when they treat you like a piece of meat.
Because that is exactly how I feel, and I guess most girls feel. The looks you feel can make your clothes disappear and the words can feel like daring hands.
I may be too sensitive, or my sister may be right, and I'm just a frustrated feminist that takes things too seriously, but I sometimes wish I were a boy, and I sometimes don't want to wear a dress or false eyelashes. And sometimes I get anxious when I'm out at night&alone in the subway.
The same thing happens on YouTube as well. Obscene, sexist, insulting comments aren't unusual.
The reason for it being you're a female, no matter what you do or say, there will always be people who think they have the right to look down on you, on your thoughts,feelings, ideas and opinions and will feel like they are in their right, when they ask you for sex or say something about your breast.
I don't get mad often, but that really pisses me off, and when I keep looking down hoping for that guy to stop  talking to me, or when I just pretend I didn't hear these boys I passed by whistling at me like you would at dogs, I feel this cold anger deep inside.
And I guess I just needed to write it down today, just because sometimes it's good to rant right?
Sorry for this boring, unpleasant and pictureless post.  I just needed to get that out, and next post will be much more entertaining, I promise!


mardi 4 décembre 2012

What should I say about Prague apart from the fact that I loved it and that I feel very sad to be back in Paris? Three days was definitely too short. 
Prague is a small city, you could somehow do it in oneday. But the moment you leave a street, a square or a castle, your heart starts to miss it and you want to see it once more. To catch a glimpse of its beauty, just to be sure you won't forget a detail that makes all the difference. I've always loved Eastern Europe, not knowing why exactly. I still don't know the reasons, but this love grows stronger and bigger everytime I go there. I fell in love with Prague as much as I did with Budapest, if not more.
We went there with my sister, by bus, which was much more comfortable than I thought it would be. lots of snow in Germany, and I fell asleep watching the white hills through the window, to wake up to czech radio. And I immediately felt at home. We arrived at 4:30am, walked to the hotel where we met two spanish&one argentinian boys, and then two boys from England whom I didn't take the contact infos, which is a shame since I really had a good feeling with one of them. Tootoobad.
We started our three days at 9, by a little walk on Charles bridge, everyday different, every day beautiful and  mysterious. Prague is a very mysterious and inspiring city, full of elegance and history, with an harsh and somehow difficult past, but for some reason I could feel no melancholy or sadness, despite the cold&gray weather. I knew from the very first day I'd be sad to leave, and I'd miss it a lot. I got used immediately to seeing the castle and the clock tower, and it was a little pleasure I enjoyed fully.
For the first time I realized how Paris is stressful and tiring, and for the first time I thought it would be nice to live somewhere quiet and peaceful. In other words Prague just accentuated this little spark that appeared in my heart in Budapest, to live in Eastern Europe. There is all I like. The culture, the litterature is amazing, the architecture is too, the history is so interesting, the politics are interesting as well, the atmospheer is so enchanting and powerful, the cities are modern yet peaceful, the countryside is close... It feels just like the good mixture of calm&urbanism. Not to mention it is close to France.

This week end was definitely too short, I can't wait to go back. Though I want to discover new things, places and people I could just come back to sit and stare at the Vltava, buy a trdelnik and walk up to the castle, then sit in Loreta church to listen to Mozart or Bach's masterpieces.
There will be another post about Prague, with many new pictures.

I hope you're all well guys.