samedi 29 décembre 2012
"A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering."
I'm taking a break once more, from my how so tiring and alienating studies to write a bit on here. I wanted to write about traveling at first, but my last post was already about travels, so I thought diversity would be interesting, and seeing that I got quite a good feedback on my post about God&Happiness, here I am with a new happinesstip post!
Actually I've been thinking a lot lately, about how in life you must learn to live with pains, some of them that never leave you. They are a part of you, a part of your body,mind and heart. Hidden deep somewhere between some bones, most of the time quietly sleeping, but sometimes, and that's when troubles appear, they wake up and knock on the door.
We all have some, and I'm pretty sure right now, reading this, everyone of us is thinking of something specific. We know these pains because in life, there are things we simply can't change. There are things we long for, desire, want so much and are dreaming of, but for some reason, that we might not always know or see, they aren't meant to happen to us. That's when we get sad, upset, depressed sometimes really unhappy. We've all been there. Loving that one guy that doesn't care, thinking of that one girl that has already a boyfriend, regretting some words we had, some friendship that broke, missing someone who has gone too early, realizing we should have done that this way or not done this at all in order to keep this relationship healthy and alive. We all have scars. We all wish some things were different, we wish we could back in time, or have another chance to change this, we beg and hope " I'm sure this is going to be different this time, let me try once more please!".
And when we realize, after what can be a long time, that no. It's definitely not going to happen, this person won't be a part of your life, at least not like you'd like him/her to be, or that this can't be changed, that this isn't your path... , well most of the time we get mad, depressed, thinking it's so unfair, unbearable and we just simply let sadness and anger win over ourselves.
From that, nothing but pain and unhappiness can come out. It's not going to change what make you feel that down, and it's not going to bring you anything positive either.
So why we would want to stick to that? Why would we agree to shelther these feelings in ourselves?
Don't get me wrong, I know this is hard, I know sometimes it seems that life is meaningless or tasteless, or too hard. Pain may be so strong we feel like we can't handle it. I know, I am not trying to say you should suddenly wake up and feel so detached from everything. That would be terrible anyway.
But we can work on learning how to accept to let go. Of our hopes, dreams, desires, fantasies.
Because that's the only way we can get free of the past, of regrets and the only way we can find happiness.
We are often so convinced we know what's good for us, what we need to be happy or what we really want. We think we deserve this or that, and consider that things should be just like we want them to, like we imagine them in our minds. But we are so small, so ignorant of many things, blinded so easily and we mistake our "I want" with our " I need".
Buddha says, that pain comes from desire.
To let go is to understand that we came on earth with nothing. We came naked, defenceless, without words and life doesn't owe us anything. We are the ones to owe life, something.
Life is beautiful, amazing and we should be grateful to be alive, but life isn't that serious either. I truly believe that 99%of what we go through isn't worth all the unhappiness we inflict ourselves. Everything we live, everyone we meet ... is a bonus. An extra, given to us, nothing more.
We go through life, as life goes through us, like water. Sometimes we can leave a sign on people, on society, we can be important, and things or people can shape us, change us, but nothing is meant to be forever. If it does, great. If it doesn't, that is fine.
Missing someone or something is fine. It's normal, it's natural. It won't kill you. Eventually, thanks to time, wounds heal. They leave scars, that's true. And when it rains, scars tend to hurt a bit. That's also fine. It's important to accept that it's going to hurt, it's going to take time, you're not invincible. But you're still strong, you can still enjoy life, you can still laugh and you're alive, after all!
Life can be anything, happiness is everywhere, already in you, and love is in everything. There's nothing, that is essential, indispensable for you to be happy, but the will to be.