samedi 30 mars 2013

Volare. Cantare.

I definitely am tired of the cloudy weather here in Paris.
I'm OVER it. Where is spring? Where the hell are the sun, the flowers, the cool temperatures, the birds, the thin cardigans and the sunny afternoons spent in parks?
And even more annoying and unfair, it looks like it's especially cloudy on the weekends.
With this gloomy weather, I can't stop thinking of Italy and how sunny it was. Warm and sunny. Well to be completely honest, it was SO hot that I almost passed out in the bus, and got an awful sunburn. But now it just sounds like paradise. Ok, I clearly can't complain next summer of the heat.

I have so many pictures of Italy that I didn't post, and actually few things I'd like to write about, but in this post I thought I would focus more on some good mood injection.
I hope you enjoy these little animated images!

Let me know what embodies summer to you? Or your best memories of summer!
I'd love to hear about them!

I had no idea I looked that stupid while wishing for something. Well actually the true story is that if you throw a coin back above your shoulder you'll come back to Rome. Not that your wish will become true. 

I was literaly in heaven, surrounded by cheese. But nothing beats french cheese. 

That is just beautiful.

I clearly tend to look stupid too often and easily, and also open my mouth too often on photos.

Lovely friend who is lucky enough not to be afraid of heights.

The Coliseum waas one of the things I was the most excited to see and it didn't fail to impress me!

where I look like an albino( no offense at all,  I just look really really pale here. and fat)

It was cheap and delicious!

I hope you enjoyed this post ! :)

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vendredi 29 mars 2013

Once upon another time.

These pictures were taken by the lovely Nichelle Singer.

Hi guys!
This post is a tiny bit different from my last entries, I hope you won't mind!
When I first arrived in Paris, I did a lot of photoshoots, and met some really really nice people. But for some reason, lately I haven't been feeling confident enough to keep doing it, or maybe I just didn't feel like doing it anymore. Most of the models will tell you they do it for fun, and I probably said it too once or twice, but to be completely honest, it's kind of rare I find it "fun". I actually like meeting photographers, they are usually really nice and interesting, and I've actually become friends with some of them, which is really cool. 
However I find photoshoots to be tiring and really stressfull. The fact that I haven't done any lately is a sign, to me, that my anxiety has grown bigger, and that's not good. Therefore, I think I'm going to try to do it more  often, and hopefully I'll start to enjoy it again. 
It's really frustrating and upsetting to feel a strengh in you that is preventing you from doing things, or enjoying them to the fullest. It really makes me feel depressed sometimes, but to eradicate this I have to fight it.
That's why I'll try to model a bit more often from now on.
I really like these pictures, they are really soft and clean. I have actually very few black&white pictures with minimal make up, so I'm pretty happy with how they came up. The photographer is a lovely student from Canada, you can see her work here and here.
Make sure to check her out ! :)

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jeudi 21 mars 2013

You've changed but feel the same.

Travelling has taught me many many things. In life, there are events and experiences you can clearly remember changing your life, for good or bad, but having such a big impact on you, to the point you could say they shaped you.
Travelling has had and still has a massive positive impact on my life, and also on me, as a person.
It's quite incredible that something you never really thought about can suddenly become such a big part of your life, if not your life.
I go to bed thinking of next upcoming trip, I kill time searching for new destinations, I read travellers' blogs, I save money for backpack, plane tickets and I daydream of long deserted islands, crowded cities or wild mountains. That's just a tiny little bit of how important it has become for me. And I thought I'd share with you some of the biggest things it has taught me.

Travelling taught me that everything is worth interest and discovery. 
I used to be only interested in few countries, couldn't even imagine myself going to Russia or China. I was absolutely closed, only willing to discover what belonged to the selection I had come up with, without any good reason.Sure, there are countries and places or cultures I'm more attracted to, but I now love the whole world, and am willing to learn about anywhere, and any culture.

Also people matter.
We're all the same. We're obviously all different, but how so similar. Tears taste the same in Mongolia or Bolivia, laughs warm up your heart no matter where you are, and a smile is still the most beautiful thing ever, be it in Tokyo or a small village in Ukraine. I've always loved people, I've always loved getting to know them, hearing about their stories, learning about their dreams, their favorite places, learning new languages, new cultures and trusting them. Travelling has only proved me I was right. People are amazing, and most of the things( if not all of them) you do, are great thanks to the people around you, whether they are just strangers in the street, in a bar or a restaurant, the guy sitting next to you in the subway, your classmates, the office lady, your best friends, your family... Travels are what they are thanks to the people you meet.

It also taught me to enjoy now fully and only.
When you're travelling, as much as it needs a lot of planning and organization, you just learn to appreciate the  moment, and live day by day. Everyday is a new chance, new opportunity to see things you wouldn't see in your daily life, and it makes everything really precious. Tomorrow you'll be somewhere else, meet other people and your path will be a different one. So you quickly learn how to make the best of each day.

Being a traveller taught me to feel free
It's not a secret anymore, I have various anxieties, feel pretty self conscious in many situations, and anxiety disorders can make your life pretty hard. There are so many experiences and people I miss, because I feel too anxious, too scared. But while abroad, on a trip, I feel free and how so very light. I can talk to people, I can ask my way, I don't mind looking lost, entering shops and places I have no clue about, trusting strangers,     and just doing anything. Not that I feel reckless, I just feel good and free. It's not another person, I'm not transforming, I just feel like suddenly all these layers that aren't me, that are preventing from doing so many things are disappearing in front of such a beautiful world, full of beautiful people.

Last but not least, it gave me balance.
I need travelling to reconnect with myself, to reconnect with others, with my dreams, my hopes and certitudes. I don't feel like I'm running away from my life when I'm travelling, nor do I feel like I am trying to escape from something. When I'm travelling, I'm fully alive, fully enjoying, tasting, hearing, smelling, feeling, touching, laughing  and breathing. It helps me coping with all the shit that happens in life, with all the doubts and the insecurities. I feel complete, yet always hungry for more landscapes, hotelrooms, flights, people, cultureshocks, local foods, cultural experiences. Sure of you who are, but constantly growing up, foreigner yet at home everywhere, in movement but steady. Wandering, but knowing exactly where you are, as it feels like your feet are kissing the ground, with each step you take.

Same place, yet so different. A difference of two years between these two pictures, and this isn't the only thing that's different. But it felt pretty familiar to stand there again. Just the same but differently.

mardi 12 mars 2013

Third day in Japan.

I just realized I haven't finished at all telling you about my trip to Japan! 
I finally got to visit my friend yesterday and get all the pictures from various trips, and browsing among those we took in Japan, I realized I had so many pictures and places I didn't talk about!

This day we headed to the Imperial Palace, which was closed, since it's open only twice a year, but I really wanted to go there still. It was a very nice thing that we did, because we could see the most beautiful cherry blossoms of all this trip. The atmospheer was so peaceful, the sky grayish and these flowers so delicate yet strong, overwhelming with their beauty. I cannot forget how much I felt at peace this morning, just admiring these little flowers.

We then decided to go to Shinjuku, where we had lunch at an italian restaurant. It was delicious! Now that I think about it, we really weren't that lucky with the weather during that trip, we had lots of rain and gloomy days... Even in Shinjuku we had rain this afternoon. If you want to eat korean Shinjuku is definitely the place to go, there are tons of korean restaurants, that we unfortunately didn't have a chance to try!
And because we're always late, we didn't make it in time to the Tokyo Tower, so couldn't reach the top. That's one thing we didn't do during this trip, and one thing we'll definitely do once we're back in Tokyo. 

We wanted to make that happen again in April this year, but finally won't be possible to go back to Japan this year, or maybe in October. Looking back at these pictures make quite sad and nostalgic I must say, for I miss Japan everyday and can't wait to live there. The road to that is quite long and difficult, sometimes really depressing but when I look at these pictures or remember how it felt walking under these cherry blossoms trees, or playing funny games in Shinjuku waiting for the rain to stop, I suddenly feel this strengh in my heart, and know that I'll find the motivation, the will and the courage, to get there and fulfil my dream, no matter what. No matter how hard I must work or study, or how long I'll have to do it.

Wait for me Japan!

dimanche 3 mars 2013

Thoughts about Berlin.

Berlin is the first city I've been to twice. It's also the first city( apart from where I've lived obviously) that I've seen both during summer and during winter. I went back for a short week end, with my friends at the end of January, and I actually "celebrated" my birthday in Berlin! The trip was a surprise gift to my ex roommate, and I had so much fun planning it with my two lovely girlfriends!

I feel like planning is such a nice part of the trip itself, booking tickets, rooms, making a schedule, fantasizing about the things you'll see, the things you'll eat, the bus ride or the flight. Trying to decide on which clothes you're going to pack, and I loved it even more, because it was a surprise!

However, I knew what I was going to see, because I've already been to Berlin in 2011, as you may remember, during my "Gackttrip", and clothes to bring were easily picked up after I checked the weather.
Let me just say. Germany during winter is cold. Very cold. I can't even remember how many times I thought my fingers were going to turn into ice.

Coming back to a place you've already visited is a very unique and strange feeling. Memories come back at every corner, and you suddenly remember things you had completely forgotten about. Streets are familiar, even after a year, and it feels very familiar without losing any of its charm. 
I remember that I loved Berlin immediatly when I first landed there one, now almost two years ago. It's a beautiful and big city, with lots of parks, museums, good restaurants and clubs, nice and friendly people. 
It is a very relaxing and peaceful place. I also love how everything is a little bit underground or edgy, how people are clearly not really giving a shit about what you're doing or looking like. That's a really nice place to live, I believe. 
But ohmygod, it's so cold and snowy during winter! Did I tell you it was cold?

We went for the very traditional and unmissable sightseeings. The Reichstag, which if you can, you should totally visit, it's really interesting. You must book in advance here ; The Brandenburger Tor with its neverending groups of tourists, the Berliner Dome which is by night or during daytime one of the most beautiful building of the city( and the inside is... to die for! pictures will come soon!), and obviously the Berliner Wall, the Berliner Mauer

We also added the Sans Souci Schloss, when in 2011 we went to see the CharlottenbourgSchloss.

That was truly one of the best moments of the trip to me, eventhough we unfortunately couldn't visit the castles. The scenery was truly beautiful and whimsical. I guess it must be really beautiful anytime of the year, but I feel like winter is the perfect moment to visit it, for it accentuates the magical atmospheer.
France has so many beautiful castles, but castles in Germany tend to always have this little something more, a bit exotic and enchanting, that french castles don't have. Castles are definitely a must see in Germany.

And because one of us is an Art student, and I'm also an enthousiastic for Art we decided to visit at least one museum, and chose The Pergamon museum, which was really interesting and impressive!'(Pictures will also come later)!

For some reason, I also love the subways in Berlin. They're clean, cute and the stations are huge& look like malls more than subway stations. Which is very different from France, and different is always interesting!

Have you ever been to Berlin or Germany? Or would you like to? 

vendredi 1 mars 2013

"Live your life like you mean it. When you do, an amazing world that you’ve never experienced before will definitely be waiting for you."

Hey there!
How are you lovely people?

First of all, I am so sorry, I still haven't the pictures and videos from my trip to Berlin. I know, I'm starting to feel desperate about that as well, so no travel post today either. 

So today's post will be about self confidence! yay!
Main reason why, is I filmed a video about that. I'll upload it on my channel later.

And I have blue hair again! Sort of!

Anyway. While I think the video is long enough, and I've said the most important things in it, to me at least, I guess there could be more things added to the matter. Self confidence, in itself isn't that important you'd think. I have thought this way for a very long time. I just didn't care, and I thought that anyway, not doing this or that wasn't that bad since I had no idea how it felt. I had no idea what enjoying felt like, and how feeling super happy after you've tried something new felt like. I had nothing worth trying. Nothing worth fighting for, and nothing that I liked enough to make me go out there, and live fully.
That's something I didn't really mention in the video, but I think it's pretty important.

If you haven't found something worth all the efforts, the hardwork, the challenges; something that you're passionate about or that you really love, it can be really difficult and seem kind of useless and unecessary to change your lifestyle. Sure you're probably not the happiest person ever when you're feeling insecure, worthless and have no self confidence, but you may think what is so extraordinary about life? After all what's the point of trying? Why should I? Because when you've spent so long not doing anything, not trying what sems cool or interesting, when you've shut yourself down for a very long time, it becomes natural to behave that way. 

We, human beings, get used so easily to things, even the unpleasant ones. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. That's a vicious circle. You don't have the confidence to be yourself, thus you don't do anything, thus you don't know how good it feels to be yourself, then you don't even want to try. Because you think there's no point. I used to think like that as well. I used to think I was pleased and content enough with my books. It was the world to me. There was pretty much nothing more to it than litterature really. Therefore I didn't think I had to go out and try new things. At the same time, thinking this way was easy, I was scared and uneasy around people, and I only felt good in my room with my books. Convincing myself that there was nothing more enjoyable than that made me think there was nothing wrong with my behavior, and I deluded myself into thinking I wasn't missing anything.

Only when I discovered something I fell in love with, something that I became really passionate about, did I realize that there were amazing things out there, and that I definitely didn't want to spend all my life, all my youth this way. I wanted to be myself, to express myself, to share my interests with people, from all over the world, to enjoy life, to learn more about other things than just litterature. I wanted to experience things. Not only read about them. 

It started with music, and the internet. I met people so different from the ones I knew in school, they gave me and taught me so many things. I learned to open myself to them, and then to others in real life as well. To not be ashamed of what I believed in but to be proud of it. Music really changed my life. The internet did change my life. I started blogging, then I started making videos on youtube and then... there were so many greats things I wanted to to, but also so many great things I had done!

People would come up to me and say oh it's great you're doing that, or wearing this, I'd never dare doing it!
I couldn't believe it! I, who used to be so scared and lonely, was now the one people thought was strong and   confident. I was the one that had experiences to tell, and people were interested in hearing about it. 
If I hadn't had the internet, if I hadn't fell upon this music video, and met those people when I was 14/15, I definitely wouldn't be writing this right now. 

The key to life, I'll never say it enough is LOVE. 

Not necessarily loving someone, but also loving something. If you love something truly, with all your heart, you'll want to share that passion with others, and your life will change greatly. I didn't really feel more confident, but I had such a huge love for that music, that whole aesthetic, those friends I had made online, that I felt comforted, safe and just couldn't restrain myself any longer from doing what I wanted to!

I genuinely believe that if you love someone or something, you'll go out of your comfort zone, you'll find a strengh inside of you you had no idea was there, and you'll gradually do things you never thought you could do. 

When I was 14, the internet wasn't as big as it is now, it wasn't as popular, there weren't as many bloggers, youtubers, people who were sharing their life with other individuals, and I think nowadays the internet is such an amazing place where you can find so much help, love, tips, advice and inspiration. 
I can't even imagine when there was no internet, how hard it must have been for many people to find the courage to be themselves, to embrace their individuality. 

So go out people!
If you think you're not good enough, always doubting and questionning your ability, your capacity or think you're not worth anything, or no one is interested in you, if you feel too shy to do this or feel to uncomfortable to wear this, or if you're afraid of your friends' reaction if you cut your hair, or decide to think differently than they all do, it's FINE! Go out there, go online and you'll see there are so many great inspiring and different individuals everywhere! People you'll be able to relate to, or that will understand you.

The more we open our hearts, broaden our horizons, the more we see how everything is possible, how different we all are, how interesting things can be, and how small are the things that prevent us from doing what we like.

What about you guys? Do you have any tips to feel more confident? Was there something that changed your life? Let me know! :) xx