How are you lovely people?
First of all, I am so sorry, I still haven't the pictures and videos from my trip to Berlin. I know, I'm starting to feel desperate about that as well, so no travel post today either.
So today's post will be about self confidence! yay!
Main reason why, is I filmed a video about that. I'll upload it on my channel later.
And I have blue hair again! Sort of!
Anyway. While I think the video is long enough, and I've said the most important things in it, to me at least, I guess there could be more things added to the matter. Self confidence, in itself isn't that important you'd think. I have thought this way for a very long time. I just didn't care, and I thought that anyway, not doing this or that wasn't that bad since I had no idea how it felt. I had no idea what enjoying felt like, and how feeling super happy after you've tried something new felt like. I had nothing worth trying. Nothing worth fighting for, and nothing that I liked enough to make me go out there, and live fully.
That's something I didn't really mention in the video, but I think it's pretty important.
If you haven't found something worth all the efforts, the hardwork, the challenges; something that you're passionate about or that you really love, it can be really difficult and seem kind of useless and unecessary to change your lifestyle. Sure you're probably not the happiest person ever when you're feeling insecure, worthless and have no self confidence, but you may think what is so extraordinary about life? After all what's the point of trying? Why should I? Because when you've spent so long not doing anything, not trying what sems cool or interesting, when you've shut yourself down for a very long time, it becomes natural to behave that way.
We, human beings, get used so easily to things, even the unpleasant ones. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. That's a vicious circle. You don't have the confidence to be yourself, thus you don't do anything, thus you don't know how good it feels to be yourself, then you don't even want to try. Because you think there's no point. I used to think like that as well. I used to think I was pleased and content enough with my books. It was the world to me. There was pretty much nothing more to it than litterature really. Therefore I didn't think I had to go out and try new things. At the same time, thinking this way was easy, I was scared and uneasy around people, and I only felt good in my room with my books. Convincing myself that there was nothing more enjoyable than that made me think there was nothing wrong with my behavior, and I deluded myself into thinking I wasn't missing anything.
Only when I discovered something I fell in love with, something that I became really passionate about, did I realize that there were amazing things out there, and that I definitely didn't want to spend all my life, all my youth this way. I wanted to be myself, to express myself, to share my interests with people, from all over the world, to enjoy life, to learn more about other things than just litterature. I wanted to experience things. Not only read about them.
It started with music, and the internet. I met people so different from the ones I knew in school, they gave me and taught me so many things. I learned to open myself to them, and then to others in real life as well. To not be ashamed of what I believed in but to be proud of it. Music really changed my life. The internet did change my life. I started blogging, then I started making videos on youtube and then... there were so many greats things I wanted to to, but also so many great things I had done!
People would come up to me and say oh it's great you're doing that, or wearing this, I'd never dare doing it!
I couldn't believe it! I, who used to be so scared and lonely, was now the one people thought was strong and confident. I was the one that had experiences to tell, and people were interested in hearing about it.
If I hadn't had the internet, if I hadn't fell upon this music video, and met those people when I was 14/15, I definitely wouldn't be writing this right now.
The key to life, I'll never say it enough is LOVE.
Not necessarily loving someone, but also loving something. If you love something truly, with all your heart, you'll want to share that passion with others, and your life will change greatly. I didn't really feel more confident, but I had such a huge love for that music, that whole aesthetic, those friends I had made online, that I felt comforted, safe and just couldn't restrain myself any longer from doing what I wanted to!
I genuinely believe that if you love someone or something, you'll go out of your comfort zone, you'll find a strengh inside of you you had no idea was there, and you'll gradually do things you never thought you could do.
When I was 14, the internet wasn't as big as it is now, it wasn't as popular, there weren't as many bloggers, youtubers, people who were sharing their life with other individuals, and I think nowadays the internet is such an amazing place where you can find so much help, love, tips, advice and inspiration.
I can't even imagine when there was no internet, how hard it must have been for many people to find the courage to be themselves, to embrace their individuality.
So go out people!
If you think you're not good enough, always doubting and questionning your ability, your capacity or think you're not worth anything, or no one is interested in you, if you feel too shy to do this or feel to uncomfortable to wear this, or if you're afraid of your friends' reaction if you cut your hair, or decide to think differently than they all do, it's FINE! Go out there, go online and you'll see there are so many great inspiring and different individuals everywhere! People you'll be able to relate to, or that will understand you.
The more we open our hearts, broaden our horizons, the more we see how everything is possible, how different we all are, how interesting things can be, and how small are the things that prevent us from doing what we like.
What about you guys? Do you have any tips to feel more confident? Was there something that changed your life? Let me know! :) xx