samedi 8 septembre 2012

I'm fine. No probs.

You're probably not believing your eyes. Two entries in a week time. It's crazy, I know.
Well, I cannot really film because of the current mess in my flat, and therefore my only way to keep in touch with you is this blog.
Plus I just like blogging, I've always liked it and always done it, but never really seriously, and I hope it's not too risky to see in that mood, perhaps, a good sign for the future.
Maybe will I finally post regularly, and start taking proper pictures for my entries?

I just felt like I needed to tell you that finally I got accepted in year2 at uni! Yay! Let's have a round of applause. To be completely honest with you, when I learned it I wasn't really that happy. I just felt disoriented and at a loss. I had started to appreciate the idea of doing the first year once more, and had already, more or less, planned my year and these news just destroyed everything.
Moreover, I am just scared that my level won't be good enough to make it through this new year.
All in all, good news bringing bad feelings.
But I'm overall really grateful and relieved, this is a step more towards my dream and (I hope) the end of college.

The interesting thing is that I got accepted when I finally 'gave up' and just accepted that I was going to have to cope with one year more.
When I first was told that I couldn't graduate, I was so sad and angry. I litteraly felt rage because I thought it was simply unfair. I was mad at myself, mad at the people working at uni, mad at my parents putting pressure on me.. I was mad at everyone graduating, everything reminding me of studies and so on.
But after a week or so, I went to bed after having cried a lot. My eyes were hurting so much, all swollen and red, and so was my head. The next morning when I woke up, I felt at peace.
I had the feeling that God had come to me, to tell me it was okay, and that I really should learn to let it go. Things cannot be changed nor undone now, so accept it and leave all this anger behind.
It was as simple as that. And I truly felt free from all anger, sadness or disappointment, as soon as I opened my eyes.
The next day I got an email from the headteacher, telling me I was eventually going to graduate.
Daily, I get questions on how to stay positive, how I am always smily and happy, how I keep seeing the bright side of life.
I will do a video about that, but I thought this post would be relevant to that topic.
Sometimes all you need is a smile.

Here are some smiles that always make me feel better.

9 commentaires:

  1. Fantastique! J'adore lire tes histoires, tu as une grande fan en Écosse :)

    1. Merci :) J'adore ton prénom, je trouve Holly très beau :)

  2. Congratulations Emy ! It's funny what life throws at you sometimes - the universe really has a strange sense of humor

    Bonne chance avec tu etudes! (is that correct? pardon my french)

  3. Aww that's a lovely blog entry, may i ask; what is your dream and what is your favourite wardrobe item? Merci :)

  4. Hello Antastesia! I'm a little lost... I didn't visit this blog since months (or few years!) ago. By that time, the name of the blog was "Deflowered Hopes", the girl from the blog also speak different languages (french, english...) and post photos of her in lonely places, write post about her believes and thinks about life, sometimes a little sad... waht happened to the old blog? Are you the same girl? I'm sorry but I don't remember anymore about the old blog and I would like to know what happened. Thank you very much :)

    1. Hey there :)
      It's still the same person yes. I changed the name of my blog, I changed completely the layout, and decided to express a brighter side of me. I guess I changed, evolved and got happier?
      Yet there are still some quite sad posts on here.

    2. It's nice to hear that :) And it's incredible your evolution ^^
      Greetings from Barcelona!

  5. You're so lovely :) kisses from Chile !