Teenage Dream.

Separations are the saddest thing ever. I just hate having to say goodbye. Babysitting these three little girls taught me more about myself&life than I ever thought it would. I just didn't know you could love children like that, when they were not even related to you in any way. The way the used to tell me 'Emeline I love you', Emeline you're pretty, Emeline I missed you, play this game with me... is one of my happiest memories. I miss them so much, it's actually really heartbreaking. I am going to miss them so much.  And today is my first monday of not babysitting them. It was a sad day. I just hope I can keep in touch with them even a tiny bit, I hope they'll become amazing women, just like the amazing little girls that they already are. I wish them the best in life,and I hope that they will always remember me even a little.

The sky makes me feel good. We're all under the same blue gigantic roof, this amazing and tender entity, that sees every single day of ours. It also sees the ones of my beloved ones, the ones of those who are lonely. Under this sky people laugh&cry, people love&are in pain. It makes me less lonely when I look up and see this blue, that never flows. This blue that says, no regrets just Love. It's up to you to make beautiful memories of everything. You know, my heart belongs to someone, who isn't even aware of that, my heart belongs to someone I don't want to be with. I'm stuck in this impossible, unrequited love.But I feel free, I feel grateful. I shall write another entry, or maybe even do a video about that, because I feel like my experience could be helpful to a few.

Apricot smoothie. deliciouus:)

kimchi rice. One of the best comfort foods.

If this feeling dies, nothing will be able to appear in this heart again.

Hey hello there! I hope you haven't forgotten about me. I have no idea why and how I stayed away from the internet for so long. It's summer here, but halas we only have like one sunny day a week. It's lame right? Summer's about sun, heat,birds, flowers,friends and beautiful and warm evenings.
Not about rain, dear weather, please note this.
However I've been trying to make the most of everydays, I've been to the countryside, to visit my family. I'm seeing my friends all the time, playing badminton, having good times&eating good food.
I have planned my 'summer trip' with my dearest friend, whom you probably know because she's always with me, Yolaine. We're going to Italy, finally for the first time. We both have italian roots, both love the country and both need to breathe new fresh air.
Lately I've been thinking about last summer a lot. It's incredible how much I have changed in only a year. And this hurts to realize this, as much as it's a relief. It's magical to look at yourself, and see how much you transform, evolve, yet can still not give up on anything you believe in.
I'm not giving up, I'm just accepting to let go, and accepting that things are definitely not to last forever.
I feel free now, could I say so free that it's making me dizzy? It's scary, yes it is. For the last two years, I've been waking up, going to bed, eating, walking, laughing, traveling[...] always thinking of the same person, the same thing always going on&on in my head. And suddenly it disappeared. Not disappeared completely, memories are here, feelings are still here, but it's like they've fallen asleep suddenly.
I call them, and their replies are so weak. So soft and painless.
And it's a relief, it's like I'm suddenly discharged of a huge weight. But it's completely scary, it's like standing on the edge, looking down,down.
But you know what? It's fine, it's completely fine, because life's beautiful, because everyday you should wake up and feel grateful. Say thanks, for this new day that you could have never seen.
Life's not serious in the end. It's a bonus and I'm definitely not going to obsess myself over feelings I can't control, and that for now, can't lead me to something good.
You know how sometimes in life, you love someone, with a real&tender love, but at the same time you know you have no desire to be in a relationship with them?
It's a bit weird, it's 'preventing' you from being in a relationship with anyone, because the love you feel cannot be erased, but cannot take place in reality.
I love someone, have no desire to be with that person, and no desire to change my situation.
I am happy, grateful and am so impatient to see what I can learn more about happiness and life.
This trip to Italy is going to be one of the kind. I'm so looking forward to it !

Let me know if you have any plans for this summer?:)

It's you it's you, it's all for you.

Someone should just tie my hands and stop me from blogging when I feel down, but halas. there's no one here to do such a thing. Don't worry I have no desire to complain. I don't like complaining, I've never liked to. I do appreciate sharing my feelings and moods with people, but complaining is very useless to me.
People ask me how I do to always look happy and apparently positive.
Therefore I thought I would answer this, right now. The key is probably love.
Love of everything and if I can say, love of everyone.
First of all loving oneself, not just like in loving who you are, what you look like and such,but more like loving you as a fellow, or no. a dear friend. I can enjoy my own company, my own sense of humor and I know what are my qualities, what are my weak points.What I can handle, and what is going to hurt me.
Seeing oneself as a friend is the best way to live a pleasant life. Because you would never put a friend in a bad situation  right? Treat yourself as a friend, don't hurt yourself with things you can't handle, people who  will hurt you and basically any 'bad' thing for you. It's all about becoming aware of oneself.
Once this is done, you'll be driven by the best feelings in your relationships with others. I find myself ridiculously  happy when I share smiles with strangers, when I exchange some words with people in the streets. I love people. And I try to be as kind as I can, all the time, because I don't want to believe everyone in this world is messed up&cold. I want to believe people feel the same way as I do, I want to believe they need love, they want love above anything else.
I've always thought and felt, deep in myself, that God had a plan for me, that I was a tool to help people being a little bit happier. Therefore, being happy,kind and understanding is the least I can do.
Love life.Love the rain, the sun, the sky, the ground. Be grateful for the light and the darkness, for the water and the food. Feel joy for being able to wake up every day, to see, to hear, to touch and taste. For the people you've met, the experiences you've had...and never give up for all the ones to come.
I wasn't always like that, I used to be a very pessimistic, depressed person. But I fought, and loving people changed me. Loving my family, loving friends, strangers, and God,obviously. But that is a bit more personal, and I guess cannot be true for everyone.
And comes a time in your life when you meet Love, the one who makes you a better person.The one you want to improve for, the one who makes you even happier to be alive, because you are able then, to know him or her.
Yes, the key is love.